Hi, I'm Jerry Brook
But, before I tell you who am, I’m going to tell you what I’m not. I’m not a psychologist, I’m not a therapist, I’m not a Ph.D., and I’m not a medical professional. Who I am, is an ordinary person, just like you.
I, just like you, have over the years, experienced the ups and downs of relationships.
I’ve lived, I’ve loved, and I’ve laughed. I’ve lost, I’ve had regrets, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.
I’ve also delved deeply into the “conventional wis-dumb” that is relationship advice. For much the same reasons as you may have; to gain some understanding into the mechanics of relationships, to learn more about myself, and to learn how to do a better job of navigating my relationships in the hope of making sense of it all.
What I have learned along my journey is that most of this aforementioned “wisdom” is just wrong—maybe not all of it, but a lot of it. And yet, we continue to consider it, read it, hand it out to our friends and loved ones, and practice it ourselves, even when we know that it’s not going to be all that useful, or, end all that well.
Passionate about relationships
If you were to ask people who know me to describe me in just one word, I think that most of them would choose “passionate.”
I’m passionate about the topic of relationships. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand why some of us succeed in relationships while so many of us fail. As the Good Together Guru, I want to share with you what I’ve learned, so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did.
A new approach to an old problem
Did you know that many of the world’s most important innovations have come from people on the outside looking in?
These are the people who haven’t been taught or told not to ask questions. You know the types of questions, the ones that embarrass the instructor or challenge the conventional wis-dumb. They are people who aren’t starting from a place of “this is how it’s always been”, and so, “this is how it must be”. They are people who aren’t afraid of being different. I am one of those people.
Nothing will ever change for people who don’t, can’t, ask questions.
And, why do people want you to not ask questions? Well, either; they don’t know
the answers, or, they benefit from you not knowing the answers.
How it all began
It began for me with my interest in Artificial Intelligence. Odd I know. However, this led me to question, what it means to be intelligent? And so, I needed to understand decision making. Why people do it, how people do it. Afterall, making correct decisions is a sign of intelligence.
Sometime in between all of this I suffered, yet another, failed relationship.
What I found was that we, people, aren’t actually taught how to make decisions. Not really. Some decisions are technical, but some decisions are emotional, some decisions are universal, but some – even most – decisions are personal.
What I suddenly realized is that I myself wasn’t making good decisions when it came to my relationships.
Throughout my career, I’ve worked with computers. As a result, I’m logical. I’m analytical. I have a talent for identifying problems and then finding ways to solve them.
One of the problems I’ve discovered is that a lot of “conventional wis-dumb” and relationship advice is simply wrong. And to compound matters, a lot of you know that, and yet you still refer to it. Despite the lack of results that you have experienced, you come back to it with the attitude that there must be a solution for you there. You don’t hesitate to spread this information around to your friends and loved ones, and you continue to try to apply it to your own life only to be disappointed, over and over again.
How do I know this? I’ve been there. I’ve stood in your shoes. Once there, I realized that, essentially, I was no better off than I was before I applied the conventional wis-dumb. In some ways, you could say I was even worse off because I’d just wasted a lot of time on something that was not good for me.
As humans, we all have free will, so predicting absolutes is pretty much impossible. I found that the best we can do, the best we can be, always starts with us. Our actions, our attitudes, dictate the direction our relationships take. It only makes sense, then, that if we have a better understanding of who we are and what we want out of life, we will more easily achieve what we want to achieve. True, this goes for all aspects of life—not just relationships—but what I focus on here is relationships as they are the foundations of our lives, our happiness, and our fulfillment.
I’d like you to join me, for an innovative new approach to an age-old problem, relationships.
So, I decided to apply those analytical skills to relationship problems, approaching the issues from a completely different angle, one that considers the foundation of the relationship framework first, before making assumptions about what should be done; to make it better, or more meaningful, or more appropriate, or more mutually satisfying.
I considered, each and every, one of my relationships and broke them down into simple concepts, considering all of; the expectations, the circumstances, and the characteristics, that may have had an impact on the directions that they took, and the destinations that they ultimately ended up at. Combining human nature with external conditions, all of which define the course of our experiences. I made notes of my findings, and all of my conclusions.