THE GOOD TOGETHER GURU
What is conventional wis-dumb?
If you’ve ever solicited relationship advice, be it from a friend or a self-help book, you’ve likely heard some of these things:
“You need to communicate.”
“Relationships are about compromise, you must learn to compromise.”
“Love is war.”
… and so on. That last one is downright adversarial, isn’t it?
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of advice that you somehow knew was missing the mark – you’re not out of line, not at all.
Some of this advice is partially wrong, some of it entirely so. And, some of it is just plain destructive. Taken literally, taken out of context (because every relationship is different), this kind of advice, though given without intent to harm, can make your relationships even more uncomfortable and hasten the inevitable end. If what you are looking for are ways to make your relationships better, you need to look at things a little more critically, and this starts within yourself.
Your needs versus your wants, your expectations, your motivations for being in a relationship are only one side of the story. The other party’s needs versus wants, their expectations, their motivations – that’s the other side. By its very nature, a relationship has two sides, each balanced in its importance to the outcome.
As The Good Together Guru, I am committed to helping you identify these aspects of your relationships so that you can grow stronger and find uncompromising happiness within yourself. As you nurture this newfound strength and understanding of your closest relationships, you will find it easier to navigate the landscape of your life because you will see your associations for what they truly are, adjust your expectations, and act according to your nature.
While mastering your relationships is a lifelong journey, this understanding will serve you well. It will help you find fulfillment and will release the stress that comes with feeling like you’re never going to get it right.
“Conventional Wis-dumb” is hurting your relationships.
If you have ever sought relationship advice from a friend, a loved one, or a so-called expert, chances are you’ve been fed a lot of conflicting information.
It’s confusing, to say the least. The truth is, those “experts” have been lying to you.
And your friends? Your loved ones? They’ve been lying to you too. You see, they have a bias towards you that encourages them to tell you things you want to hear, to make
you feel better. They’re on your side, no matter what – and that’s not a bad thing, per se. But, when it comes to relationships, it’s not necessarily a good thing.
How “conventional wis-dumb” is hurting your relationships
I’m Jerry Brook, The Good Together Guru, and I can help you to make your relationships better. Really.
Now, I don’t have a fancy Ph.D., I’m not a therapist, and I’m not an M.D. of any description. What I am is a person just like you. I have had my share of failed relationships—personal, business, and intimate—and I finally decided that enough is enough.
I needed to figure out why some relationships succeed while some are doomed to fail.
I have a highly analytical mind that lends itself well to these types of problems, so I set myself to the task of breaking it down into bite-sized chunks so I could see the bigger picture – the patterns – that make up the mosaic of our lives.
Once I had broken down relationships into their most basic, elemental qualities, it was plain to see:
Conventional wis-dumb, at least as it applies to human relationships, does not work.
This is not a conclusion I came to lightly. Like any good analyst, I put each concept to the test. I pitted each bit of this so-called conventional wis-dumb against what we know of human nature itself (what you or I would be likely to do in a situation) and then I considered the actual results (what really happened in the end). What I discovered was nothing short of illuminating.
The truth is that, as humans, we are creatures of habit. If there is something we dearly want, something we are passionate about, we will keep on trying in an effort to achieve our heart’s desire. Whether these tactics are working for us or not, we press on, undaunted.
The problem isn’t in the wanting or in the trying, the problem is in the “doing the same old thing”.
“When it is obvious that the goal cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”
My approach to relationships is a practical one. First, we must understand the various parts and pieces of any relationship. How it is that they function, and how it is that they best fit together. Some of the pieces are dependent on each other while others are not. Then we must understand the desired result, the outcome. If we don’t know where we are headed to, how will we know if we have gotten there, or not? Sometimes we need only make simple adjustments, other times it’s about scraping what we have and starting over all together.
As the Good Together Guru, that’s what I do. I will show you how to create Good Together relationships in your own life, based on real-world experience, intuition, and a little self-discovery.